expensive month..

haha.. this month i am going broke.. hahaha..

i have 3 weddings to attend... one down last sat and one tonight and one on christmas day.. and it is the month of giving.. so i spend some on xmas gifts.. haha..

updates last week.. i was down with gastric flu.. not sure who i got it from.. but me and another colleague got it.. he was down on wed lunch and me on wed night.. i went to the toilet at least 10 times on wed night.... my Korean boss invited us to his house on fri for xmas get together.. so i bought him some royce chocolate.... I bought ryan myself as he invited family.. but Chris cant make it as he had xmas dinner also.....

Sat i went to ivan's wedding (ex-colleague) and it was great meeting some friends.. we had some discussion abt kids and motherhood.. haha.. Tonight is Mich wedding.. and Zhen is busy helping her.. we have decided to bring ryan to the dinner but this morning mummy say she can handle so let see how.. hee..

Camping over at mummy place..

This whole week, Ryan, Ping (our little hamster) and me will be camping over at my parents place.. Chris is off to Korea with his company colleauges.. it is a biz trip but more for fun.. so he is off yesterday.. and as usual when he is away we will be camping over..

We bought Ping along as this time unlike when Chris is in camp, he will pop home once in a while to feed him and relax at home.. thus we hv to bring him along.. haha.. Nicky and Ryan keep going to his cage to bang bang.. and i guess we got no choice.. so sorry to scare you ping..

I will be driving to work this time as well.. well it means that i can wake up later as driving only takes 10 mins to reach my office.. hehehe.. wat an enjoyment.. haha..

some update on last weekend, we were at my sister in law place celebrating Chris niece birthday.. it was just a mini buffet with family.. Ryan is kind of cranky as he didnt get enuff sleep as my cousin was at my mummy place for visit.. so most of the time he wans me to carry.. We bought a little study table for Vernice hopefully she will like it and put to good use.. :)

Ryan birthday is slightly more than a month away.. i need to plan plan plan.. haha.. guess not inviting too many pple.. family itself i know my aunties and cousins itself i have alot.. so i am not going to invite too many friends.. :P anyway i find that being so young, they will not appreciate like hving lots of friends around..

I have got the design of the cake in mind.. the rest like the buffet and stuff need to get the guest list ready first.. :)

it finally happen..

Something i dread finally happen..

i open my hand to carry Ryan.. he didnt want me.. he wanted her instead.. break my heart..

He wanked when i carried him over.. she toook him back. i was so upset.. felt really bad..

she see him every day more than me.. she bath him and play with him more than me.. i dun blame him.. but myself.. felt my heart break into thousand and million pieces... what is worse.. everytime i spend my time with him, she also want to be involve.. when she is mopping the floor and me in the room playing with him, she will call him.. when he is in the car, she will try to play peek a boo behind with him and get his attention... when he is in my arms, she will call out to him to wave at him hello.. sigh... when in the lift, she repeat what i say to him.. who is the mother...i think too much.. but what can i do.. i need to work... how i wish i can take care of him myself...

will try not to think abt it.. back to work..

tired..

this week i am really tired.. shhshh.... i doze off slightly when i work.. i really cant help it..

 

Lucky i am seated in a room where there is me and another gal.. who is back facing me.. hehe.. so i hope no one spotted me.. heehee

 

Ryan is down with flu.. and as mummy night like this is hell.. cant sleep well when he is not..

 

i hope he will get better. it is long weekend and we are fetching Ben from airport tonight!!

--
Regards
Meiqi

Updates..

I havent update in ages!! I know.. my sister reminded me how long i didnt update..

 

It just isit me.. to let friends around know how down I feel. I do not know why I just dun allow myself to talk about it.. I just sink into this little shell of me..

 

For almost one year, Life hasnt been good for me...

Not sure if having a helper in my house make my life in a mess or it was already in a mess.. just that it just all floated up when she was here...

 

Have you all have the feeling that you just cant get along with one person? I really cant with my helper. she is ok. My husband say at least she is honest, she doesnt steal, she does the housework decently.. Why do you still have so much complains.. I have countless of arguement over her with him..

 

Well when she first arrive, we told her all the house rules and the things she need to do. blah blah blah.. She has been here a year... all i can say is she is smart, she is difiant, she likes to do things her way...  There are a number stuns she did i will never forget.. and the recent one really keep my mind in a mess. Last sunday, she change without closing the door and my husband is around. It just happen that he was calling to her to do somethings.. and he saw her.. sigh.. I didnt think much that day.. coz it is really embarrassing for my husband i dare not mention anything anymore.. but on Monday, the more i think abt it the more i dun understand.. Wat was she thinking!!! Sigh..

 

Yesterday my sister broke the news to my mummy.. to send her back when little nicky boy is ready for school when he turns 18 mths... but my mummy intention is to keep her. till the boys are bigger and go to school.. I guess my mummy is worried she cant cope with Ryan alone as he become more active..sigh..

 

I am a mummy who thinks that having a bb is my decision and i shld not just throw my son to someone elses care so that i can relax and enjoy my time.. i like to do everything myself for my son. i like to bath him, play with him.. etc etc.. and it is something that my mum or aunties or hubby cant understand.. but it is me.. 

 

I do not know how to explain.. my anger when my husband just ask her to take care for the few mins i went to take a quick shower or when i need to prepare some stuffs.. Just dont understand why he cant spend some time playing with his son.. is the TV or the internet more important? after a few arguments, husband did less of the passing to her for fear that i will pick up a quarrel again.. but it is just not the way i expected him to be a father of my son.. Y cant he just spend more time bonding with your son!!

 

No one also understand the feeling i have when Ryan was being cranky in the car for long car ride and she will go "Ryan dun cry ah!" like she is the mummy.... While i just sit and paitently try my best to pacify him.. And also no one understnad my anger when i am playing with Ryan and when she come in the room, she will just stand in a corner, and when Ryan look at her, she will play peek a boo and stuffs to catch her attention or when she is doing housework and passes us, she will call him out loud to get his attention.. shldnt Ryan attention be with his mummy? Is all these being a possesive mum?

 

I can take it when it is relatives or friends helping me with Ryan.. but never her.. I guess i am not one who can have maids around.. I need a break from her.. Well i am getting a break from her.. We are bringing Ryan to Genting on 13 Nov.. Just my family, my sis family and my parents.. anyone wans to join us?

 

Oh ya.. just to update you all.. i change my job.. now i am with johnson and johnson as financial analyst... a change so that i have more challanges and learn more.. well will try to update as much as i can.. :)

Sad...

I have been feeling sad for the past few days..

My hamster, zai zai pass away on monday.. it has been abt a yr and half when we take ping and zai back they are still babies... I think of the time when they roll in a ball and when we change from small cage to big cage..

Before my pregancy, i use to help chris clean up the cage every alternate week... and i will help bath them.. When i was pregnant, chris become the main care taker.. I felt guilty for neglecting them..

On Mon morning, i brought ryan to see the two hamsters.. i notice Zai was lying there.. I tot he was sleeping.. so didnt want to touch him while carrying ryan.. At night, Chris came to me and told me that Zai is gone.. i didnt believe him and dash out to see him.. He is really lying there not moving... I cried.. With Zai gone, i can sense that Ping felt lonely.. chris always say ping is happy.. no more fighting with Zai and no one to snatch food with him.. but to me i feel he is lonely...

These few days, i will keep thinking of Zai and go see his photos in my phone.. Zai, i miss u... Sob sob...

Celebrating his first birthday with 2 grandson..

This year, my dad celebrated his 53th birthday with his 2 grandson for the first time..

On the actual day (26 Feb) the celebration was mini.. As I am still on maternity leave, i suggested going to west mall to eat swensen as there will be free ice cream if your birthday fall on the day.. so we prepared and brought the 2 little boys out..

Ryan still wasn't very use to getting out.. he wans to be carried and not want to sit in the pram.. after eating lunch, we shop around and didnt stay long shopping coz it was raining quite heavily and we decided to head home..

At night, we just celebrated with a little cake..

The next day, the whole family went to expo with 2 agenda.. to book tour for my parents at NATAS fair.. and also for the 2 mummies to see if there are good grabs at the mother and baby fair..

My parents after much headache has decided to go to Taiwan for their trip... they are leaving on 4 Apr and will leave both mummies to take care of the little ones themselves..

For both the mummies there isnt much good grabs at the fair.. but we sign up a flash card program that cost us a bomb.. I am not going to disclose the cost.. haha.. We have been label as KS parents from the day we sign up the program.. We will need to flash the cards to our little boys and will hv guidance from company.. oh well.. hopefully both Ryan and Nicholas will learn well and of course help their studies in their future.. We are not hoping that the 2 boys become president or any scholar.. but just hope that with the program as what the sales person say, give them a good head start for their studies..

After the fairs, we went to Roland to have dinner as post birthday treat.. The meal wasnt as fantastic as the first time we had it.. but it was still good!!

Well as usual, i will wish my dad good health!