Sad...

I have been feeling sad for the past few days..

My hamster, zai zai pass away on monday.. it has been abt a yr and half when we take ping and zai back they are still babies... I think of the time when they roll in a ball and when we change from small cage to big cage..

Before my pregancy, i use to help chris clean up the cage every alternate week... and i will help bath them.. When i was pregnant, chris become the main care taker.. I felt guilty for neglecting them..

On Mon morning, i brought ryan to see the two hamsters.. i notice Zai was lying there.. I tot he was sleeping.. so didnt want to touch him while carrying ryan.. At night, Chris came to me and told me that Zai is gone.. i didnt believe him and dash out to see him.. He is really lying there not moving... I cried.. With Zai gone, i can sense that Ping felt lonely.. chris always say ping is happy.. no more fighting with Zai and no one to snatch food with him.. but to me i feel he is lonely...

These few days, i will keep thinking of Zai and go see his photos in my phone.. Zai, i miss u... Sob sob...

Celebrating his first birthday with 2 grandson..

This year, my dad celebrated his 53th birthday with his 2 grandson for the first time..

On the actual day (26 Feb) the celebration was mini.. As I am still on maternity leave, i suggested going to west mall to eat swensen as there will be free ice cream if your birthday fall on the day.. so we prepared and brought the 2 little boys out..

Ryan still wasn't very use to getting out.. he wans to be carried and not want to sit in the pram.. after eating lunch, we shop around and didnt stay long shopping coz it was raining quite heavily and we decided to head home..

At night, we just celebrated with a little cake..

The next day, the whole family went to expo with 2 agenda.. to book tour for my parents at NATAS fair.. and also for the 2 mummies to see if there are good grabs at the mother and baby fair..

My parents after much headache has decided to go to Taiwan for their trip... they are leaving on 4 Apr and will leave both mummies to take care of the little ones themselves..

For both the mummies there isnt much good grabs at the fair.. but we sign up a flash card program that cost us a bomb.. I am not going to disclose the cost.. haha.. We have been label as KS parents from the day we sign up the program.. We will need to flash the cards to our little boys and will hv guidance from company.. oh well.. hopefully both Ryan and Nicholas will learn well and of course help their studies in their future.. We are not hoping that the 2 boys become president or any scholar.. but just hope that with the program as what the sales person say, give them a good head start for their studies..

After the fairs, we went to Roland to have dinner as post birthday treat.. The meal wasnt as fantastic as the first time we had it.. but it was still good!!

Well as usual, i will wish my dad good health!

Missing time for myself.. but enjoying every moment with him..

I am still on my maternity leave and i am enjoying every moment with Ryan.. Ryan has not been an easy baby.. he is not easy to pacify and sometime he only want me to pacify him... and with his strong hands and legs, he figit alot.. and sometime when he cry and my sister help me to pacify him, he will not calm down.. only when i carry him, he will clam down slighty but sometime he also wont calm down.. but as a mum, i guess no matter how, we need to be more patient with him.. I dunno if he will be stress when i go back to work.. i guess i have to slowly let go and let my mum and maid handle him.. hopefully he will stick to my mum more than the maid..

As a mum, some sacrify hv to be make..

Sleep
The most common words from a mum is they are sleep deprive.. But Ryan dote me alot i guess.. Before Ryan was 6 weeks old, he only wake up 1 time a night at abt 3+ to ask for milk.. After 6 weeks, he dun wake up at night already.. normally after his last feed at 9 or 10 pm, he can normally last thru the night and wake up at 4 or 5 am.. Nowadays, i dun wake up to pump milk anymore i need to get use to it if not when I go back to work, i dun think i can wake up and pump.. I need to rest well to be able to work..

Out of shape
During pregnancy, i gain 12kg and till now i still have 3kg to shed.. however no matter how much i shed, my hip has expand and i dun think it will go back to what it used to be.. sob.. i will need to go shopping for clothes as i cant fit into some of the clothes..

No time for myself
As Ryan is quite sticky to me now and i enjoy that.. but sometime it get difficult to hv a quick bath and a meal.. must faster eat and faster bath.. and i cant enjoy a good scrub or take my time to eat my meals like I used to. at time i still can when chris help out or when i leave Ryan to the maid... Now as i am usually at my mum place till night, i will make sure i bath and hv my meals then i will go home.. then i can take my time to settle Ryan then go do my packing for next day and tidy up the house a little then i'll go rest..

Motherhood..

I have officially join motherhood on 13 Jan 2009.

I went for my review on 12 Jan 2009 and as I was in my 40 weeks pregnancy and baby was fully develop, Dr Alex gave me the go ahead to be induce on the 13 Jan 2009 morning. He instructed me to have a light breakfast the next day and admit myself to be induce the next morning.


So i went home and told my family members i will hospital the next day.. haha.. was joking with my sister that i will go back early to take a long shower and prepare myself for my confinement. Chris came and pick me home early... I went home relook into my hospital bag and do some last minute packing and also clean up my house and instructed Chris to do some stuff when i am not around for the confinement.

After packing i went to bath.. before bathing i hv a strong urge to poo.. so i sit at the toilet bowl to poo.. but the pain was not the normal poo poo pain.. i tot it might be some contraction.. but i just ignore the pain.. i went to take a long shower and wash my hair throughly.. then i went to catch some dvd that Chris rented.. I wanted to spend some time with him before we loses our couple time.. half way thru the show, i felt the similar pain again.. I told Chris that i might not wait till the morning... then i start to time the interval between the pain.. oww.. it was abt 10 mins.. it was abt 11+ pm.. Chris was panicking and ask me to go to hospital immediately.. I told chris not to panick and we still hv time.. I told him to slowly pack and change and got all the things ready..

Then we slowly head to the hospital at abt 11.30 pm... While on the way, Chris make the call to Dr Alex and inform him that i was having contraction and told him the interval between each contraction.. then Dr. Alex told us to head to hospital and we inform him that we are already on our way... we reached Mount E around midnight..

I was wheel to the delivery suite.. then the nurses did some check on me to confirm that i was in labour.. then she told me that i was 3 cm dilated.. she asked if i am wanted epidural.. i told her i can wait.. then after a while, at abt 3 plus, the pain become more intense and i was telling chris that i cannot take the pain.. the nurse asked again if i wanted epidural.. I gave up and said ok.. coz she say this pain is only the beginning... while waiting for the doc to give me the epidural, i told chris i felt useless.. cant tolerate the pain.. :P anyway when the doc came, he give me the epidural and also talk to me abt some side effects on the medication.. after the jab, the pain was lesser but i was shivering.. the doc say i was too tense thus the shivering.. the shivering from the jab will not take effect so fast..

I doze off a while and woke up coz i felt some pain again.. ask the mid wife.. and she say the pain is the pressure from the contraction and cannot be reduce by epidural.. so i hv to endure.. Finally at abt 8.00 am in the morning, the midwife came in to ask me to prepare to push..

After a few pushes, Dr. Alex came to look at me and told me i was doing fine and go ahead to push.. after he left, the nurses realise that Ryan's heartbeat decreases every time i push.. so they alert Dr Alex again.. and this time Dr. Alex return and look at Ryan's CTG.. and told the nurses to prepare for vacuum delivery.. so at 9.28 am, Ryan was in my arms.. and Chris was smiling when he saw Ryan for the first time.. We are both parents.. I guess it is a moment i can never forget..

Becoming a mummy soon..

If you friends have been reading Ryan's blog, you will know that i am going to pop soon!! I am really excited and feeling anxious to hold my little prince in my arms..

Through out my pregnancy, there are things that i appreciated more...

1. My parents. They have been really taking good care of me.. my mum would cook tonic soup and bird nest (my favourite!!) for me... and my pa will go buy breakfast for me and get coconut for me..

2. My sister. we were pregnant for almost 5 mths together.. Initially when she was preg, i tried my best to take care of her and when we were both preg, we always feel that the other party is more important.. haha..

3. My hubby. He is not a caring and meticulous man.. i always complain that he is not showing enough care and concern to me.. haha.. Dear, pls express more.. me and Ryan need you to show more love.. :)

4. Friends. Thanks for all the sms and msn msgs that i have recieve asking about me and baby Ryan... Some time it is really kind of tiring for me to meet up with you friends. Thanks for visiting me at my mummy's place.. :)

I have enjoyed my pregnancy so far although sometime i feel sad especially during the time when baby is abit unstable.. There are things that i will miss after my pregnancy...

1. Attention.. Pregnant lady sure will get sure get some attention.. especially from friends and relatives.. Thanks for all the attention that you have showed me during my pregnancy..

2. Missing my period.. Haha.. the best part of pregnancy is no aunty visit!! As most friends know i have bad cramps during my aunty visit.. I am beginning to dread the monthly aunty visit.. although most mummy will tell me that the birth process is many many time more painful then the monthly cramps, i still have not experience the labour pain yet. :P

3. Rumbling feelings.. Ryan have been an active baby in my tummy.. Whenever Ryan kick or punches me, I always tell him that I will definately miss his movement when he is born.. Although i cant wait to hold him in my arms, the rumbling feelings will definately be missed..

Oh well, now i am really worried abt the labour pain.. not sure if i can tolerate the pain.. I am going to try to endure the pain before i decide if i want to administer epidural.. Well hopefully i get the strength to endure.. hehe..

Not sure when i can blog again.. coz I am sure i will be busy with Ryan's arrival.. :)

Bursting Tummy..

On Fri Chris took leave to accompany me for Ryan's review... I was delighted that the busy papa took leave to accompany me.. Usually i will arrange for morning review then we will go back to work as it is quite tough for Chris to take leave to accompany me.. But since Chris has taken the initiative to take leave, I took the chance to take leave and spend some couple time with him...

After Ryan's review at abt near 3.30 pm, we make plan to have hi-tea buffet at Royal Plaza on Scotts... When we reach, there was already quite a crowd as there is a company function... Overall, the buffet line was quite a good buffet with quite a variety of food... We both enjoyed the food.. but for me a sweet tooth person, i find the cakes selection a little dissappointing.. but there is chocolate fondue.. and you can choose to make ur own dessert.. like chendol and ice kachang so it fill up the gap for the cakes..

We finish the buffet at abt 5.15 pm and we are really full.. haha... for me my tummy felt like it was going to burst.. but anyway as the gynea was telling me to eat more, i think i have done my part to gain more weight.. hopefully Ryan will gain more weight in my next review.. :)

An early breakfast..

Yesterday morning, i cant sleep since 3 am.. not sure y.. flip and turn and toss.. just cant get back to sleep.. chris woke up at 4+ and i was telling him i cant sleep!! he suggested bringing me out to eat at mac or roti prata.. but i cant bear the thought of waking him up so early.. so i tell him i will try to get back to sleep.. at 5+ he woke up again and seeing that i still cant sleep, he woke up and tell me to prepare to go out for early breakfast.. He was so energetic coz he sleep at 8+pm the previous night.. He suggested going Redstar for dim sum... I have always heard from my sister and colleagues they will go queue to have dim sum at Redstar Restaurant. The thought of queuing push me away from going.. since i cannot sleep and he was up, i agree to get up and go with him but got him to check out the opening hours..

 

We found out that the opening hours is from 7 am.. so i told him i try to sleep for a while more and get him to wake me up later.. We got ready and was out of the house by 6.30am.. we reach the restaurant by 7 and was their first customer!! As they just open, there was still no food ready yet.. so we drank tea and waited for our dim sum.. the dim sum was serve in those traditional push cart.. where the waitress will walk around with the cart and ask u if u want anything from the cart.. and if u take anything, they will record on ur card with a chop...

 

The food at Redstar was ok.. but find the place a very traditional dim sum restaurant.. :) not sure when will i get up so early to go Redstar again with Chris.. hee..